


Grief

by SophiaHawkins



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, post Chicago P.D. s03ep23 Start Digging, sevasey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29471958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophiaHawkins/pseuds/SophiaHawkins
Summary: "What happened?" Kelly asked the man who had crawled into his bed. Casey looked at him and said, "Voight's son, Justin, is dead." "What?" Kelly asked in disbelief.
Kudos: 13





	Grief

Grief

Kelly Severide was in bed, not actually asleep but not really awake yet. He could sense the sunlight just starting to pour in the windows as he lay on his side facing them, but not bright enough yet to actually be time to get up, especially since they weren't on shift today.

He heard a car pull up out front, heard the door slam, heard the key in the front door, heard the door open, close, lock, and knew that Casey was home. Right off hand he didn't remember where Casey went, or when, and he didn't care.

Suddenly he heard the springs under him twanging in protest to a sudden weight added to the mattress, his eyes opened wide in shock and he turned over and saw Casey had crawled into bed behind him.

"Wrong bed, get out," he tiredly grumbled.

Casey was still in his clothes and looked exhausted, in response to Severide's comment all he did was inch his way up closer behind Kelly.

"I said get out," he said.

"Kelly, please..."

The voice almost didn't even sound like Casey, it sounded exhausted, and something else, but Kelly couldn't put his finger on it, but it jolted him.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Casey's eyes were all but closed as he said, "Please just shut up and let me stay here for a while."

"What time is it?" Kelly asked.

"Going on six," Matt tiredly answered.

"Must've been some date," Kelly said.

"I didn't go on a date," Casey told him.

"Oh," Kelly rolled over on his back and looked at Casey, "so what happened?"

Casey opened his eyes and looked at him and said, "Voight's son is dead."

It took a few seconds for the words to connect in Kelly's brain, he sat up and asked, "What?"

"Voight's kid, Justin, the one I helped put in prison five years ago, somebody murdered him yesterday," Casey told him.

" _What_?" Kelly asked in disbelief.

"I heard it on the news last night...somebody shot him, he was brain dead...Voight had to take him off life support."

Kelly's voice dropped several notches, barely able to speak at all as he hissed, "God..."

"I went over to see him," Casey said.

Kelly looked at him, "You what?"

"I went to see Voight last night...figured after everything that happened, I should pay my respects."

"What happened?"

Casey shook his head, "It was bad, he was in pretty bad shape when I got there, he'd already had a few drinks...it was pouring last night, remember?"

"Yeah."

"He must've been out in it because he was soaking wet when I got there," Casey said. "His daughter-in-law left, took the baby, moved them over to Arizona, she's not coming back."

"Oh man...that's where you were all night?"

Casey nodded.

"What happened?"

Casey wished he could forget. After everything that had happened between them back then he wasn't even sure that Voight would want to see him, or if the cop would punch his lights out. He felt a knot in his stomach the whole drive over, he had no idea what to expect, but he felt this was something he had to do.

* * *

To his surprise, Hank had let him in the house. The older man was visibly struggling to hold it together, a very different sight from the Hank Voight who had threatened him five years ago. Casey thought back to how much Voight had made him feel like the walls were closing in on him and he was losing his mind, and he couldn't connect that with this pathetic figure he was seeing now.

Voight wasn't a large man, he was tall but very slightly built, he hid this well, he carried an air around him that threw his weight around for him. But it was only now that Casey realized just how small the cop actually looked. At that point, a strong breeze could've tipped him over easily.

Hank had changed into a set of dry clothes before Casey got there, but his skin and his short hair were sopping wet, at that point he looked completely and totally lost, like a stray animal just wandering around with no idea where to go.

The Intelligence sergeant had clearly had a few drinks before Casey got there. He'd joined Hank in a few more drinks, time got away from him, he must've blacked out for a while because at one point he found himself on the floor of Voight's living room with the cop laying on him crying in his sleep. It was only at that time that Casey actually, faintly remembered Hank breaking down crying about losing his son, earlier in the night. And when it had happened, Casey felt himself paralyzed, not sure what to do. He wasn't the best candidate to comfort someone grieving, he could pull people out of fires, out of wrecks, but he sucked at offering emotional support when people were suffering. Usually he got lucky and Severide was with him to take on that role instead, but he wasn't there tonight, and honestly, Matt couldn't see him doing it this time anyway. But he wasn't sure that he could either.

Regardless of what the two of them went through way back when, Casey slowly, cautiously, still not sure what to expect, put his arms around Voight and held onto the older man as he all but fell against Casey, his whole body trembling, a tortured yell coming out of his mouth and filling the room.

Matt had no memory of what happened between that point, and when he woke up on the floor with Voight laying on him. As a firefighter he'd had to prove his physical capabilities just like everyone else, but the truth was there were in fact very few times in Casey's whole career where he actually had to bodily lift up and carry another person, especially a grown man. And however long the two of them had been passed out on the floor it was enough that most of the circulation in Casey's body was cut off, he spent a while just working on getting the blood flowing through his legs and his feet again. When that finally happened, he tried to wriggle out from under Voight, which took longer than expected, the man might not look like much but even unconscious he could prove a huge obstacle in Casey's life. Finally Casey was able to get up, and grab Hank and pull the cop to his feet and walk him over to the couch and get him settled on it. There was an old afghan draped over the back, Casey unfolded it and covered the sergeant with it, who was completely oblivious to it.

Casey looked at the clock and realized it would be morning soon, he hadn't planned on staying more than a few minutes and instead he was gone almost 8 hours. He hadn't told Severide what he was doing, his first thought was surely Kelly had to realize he'd never come home, then again, knowing Kelly as well as he did, the man probably had his own hands too full to be aware of anybody else last night. He felt strange about just slipping out unannounced, he sure as hell didn't want to wake Voight up, if that was even possible, but he finally decided to go through with it.

He quietly opened the front door, stepped out, and pulled it shut behind him. The rain had stopped sometime during the night, everything was soaking wet. Casey headed out to the street where he'd parked his pickup, took one last look at the house, it had been a big house, too big, he'd thought after paying Voight a visit and knocking him on his ass, for just one person. Realizing that he'd had a wife and son, and Erin, once upon a time, made a little more sense, but now...now Voight was truly alone. His wife was dead, his son was murdered, his grandson was gone, the cop had nobody now. Despite what had happened between them years ago, Casey couldn't help feeling sorry for Hank.

* * *

Casey felt even more exhausted now, thinking about all of it. He looked at Kelly and said in a very small voice, "Just let me stay here a couple hours...after the night I've had I just need something normal."

Kelly raised one eyebrow and commented, "I happen to know there's nothing normal about us sleeping together," but he rolled back over on his side and burrowed under the covers trying to get comfortable.

Everything was quiet for a minute, and he'd thought he could get back to sleep. Then he heard something from the other side of the bed, and he knew that idea was shot. He rolled over and saw Casey, curled on his side, looking like he was about asleep, but the small sounds working out from his throat said otherwise. Kelly put an arm around Casey's back and pulled his best friend to him and held him as Casey softly cried. Regardless of what happened between those two all those years ago, it was just a bad situation now, and since Casey didn't have a malicious bone in his body, it was impossible to even conceive he'd take any pleasure in Voight's suffering, and this was a situation it was impossible to remain neutral about, so the only alternative was to suffer along with the cop.

Okay, so Kelly was starting to get a better idea why Casey crawled into bed with him. After the night he had it sounded like he just needed to know things here hadn't changed and there was still actual _life_ in this apartment, even if he barely acted the part. He kept a hold of Casey with one arm and with his free hand grabbed the covers and pulled them up around both of them.

* * *

The next day on shift, everybody was returning from a call, and as they pulled up onto the apparatus floor, everybody was met with an unusual sight, Connie arguing with Hank Voight.

"Uh oh, what do you think that's about?" Herrmann asked.

Casey wasn't sure, but it was a safe bet whatever it was, he didn't need everybody else hearing, so he said, "I'll find out, you guys hang back, get everything put away."

"Right, lieutenant."

Casey hopped out of the rig, shed his turnout coat and went up to the two people who were evenly pitted against each other, Connie not giving an inch about letting him in and Voight determined to see Casey.

"Sergeant Voight?" he said as he walked up on the scene.

Hank turned to him. Of course the cop was all business again, Casey couldn't get a reading from the cop's expression what was going on.

"Lieutenant Casey, could I talk to you in private for a moment?"

Casey looked to Boden's secretary and assured her, "It's alright, Connie."

The woman didn't look convinced but she turned and headed back to her desk.

"My quarters," Casey offered, "it'll be more private."

"Fine with me," Voight replied.

* * *

Just to make sure nobody 'accidentally' stumbled in on the conversation, Casey locked his door and pulled down the blinds.

"What's going on, Hank?" he asked.

The cop stood in the middle of the room with his hands in his pockets and said plainly, "I guess I owe you an apology for the other night, and, to say thank you."

Casey didn't have any idea how to respond to that.

"Hank...everybody at 51 is sorry about what happened to Justin...on behalf of the firehouse, if there's...anything you need..."

"I appreciate it, Casey, but it won't be necessary," Hank told him.

The two of them stood there just looking at each other for a minute in a haunting silence.

"Matt...I appreciate you coming by the other night," Hank said.

"Are you..." Casey froze before he could finish the sentence, he felt very strange for asking, "Are you going to be alright?"

The Intelligence sergeant looked at him and said, "You know, I'm doing better than I was the other night...I'll survive."

Casey guessed the truth was that was all any parent could do when they lost a child. There was never any 'alright', but you survived, and kept going.

"I'm really sorry about this, Hank."

Voight nodded. "Thanks."

Casey suddenly felt _very_ awkward, not knowing what to do, also felt very awkward just standing there like an idiot. Before he could talk himself out of doing what he was going to do, he hugged the cop and clapped a hand on his back, and pulled back after a couple seconds before Voight could do anything. Hank seemed largely unfazed by what just happened, but he looked Casey in the eye and told him earnestly, "I'm sorry about the trouble between us back then."

Casey nodded, "I..." he was about to say that he thought he understood, instead he settled for, "I know."

Hank clapped a hand on Matt's shoulder and told him, "Take care of yourself." And with that, he walked out, leaving Casey there, feeling like he was in a daze.

A few minutes later, Kelly knocked on the wall as he entered the room and asked, "Everything alright?"

"Uh, yeah," Casey cleared his throat and wiped at his eyes.

"What'd he want?" Kelly asked.

"Just...for the other night."

"You okay?" Kelly asked.

"Yeah," Matt answered.

That was Casey's go-to answer for everything, but he felt _weird_ , though he couldn't pinpoint why.

* * *

That night the calls stopped coming in for a while and everybody was trying to sleep. Kelly softly knocked on Casey's door and stuck his head in, "You awake?"

"Yeah, what's going on?"

"Can I come in?"

"Sure," Casey answered.

Kelly closed the door behind him and went over and sat on the foot of Casey's bunk, "Thought I'd check in to see how you're doing."

"I'm okay," Casey said.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"You want me to stay with you?" Kelly asked.

"That's not necessary, Kelly," Casey said.

There was a pause before Kelly asked, "But do you want me to?"

Casey quietly laughed, "I appreciate it, but no thanks."

"What's got you up?" Kelly asked.

"Oh...just thinking about something...been thinking about it ever since Voight left," Casey said.

"What's that?"

"Five years ago...when Voight wanted me to change my statement so Justin wouldn't go to prison...he tried to change my mind...and when that didn't work he vandalized my truck, staged a burglary, 'recovered' my bag with $20,000 in it, sent a 50 inch TV to the firehouse, when he couldn't bribe me, he sent three goons out to beat the hell out of me, had the cops sent to my house and a brick of cocaine taped under the kitchen counter...and finally he tried to take a hit out on me for $2,000."

"Charming guy," Kelly dryly noted.

"He was desperate," Casey said, "he didn't want to lose his son, and he didn't know what to do with someone who wouldn't accept a bribe."

"You still feel sorry for this guy?"

"I do," Casey told him, "But..."

"But what?"

Casey looked at him and quietly said, "If he was willing to do all that, just to keep Justin out of prison...somebody kidnapped Justin, shot him in the head and locked him in a car trunk... _what_ do you think Voight's going to do to them."

Kelly's eyes got big as he silently mulled that over.

"Did he say anything to you?"

"You know Voight, he's too smart for that," Casey said. "But..."

"What is it, Matt?"

"When I went to see him, he'd been out in the rain, he was soaking wet, he'd changed his clothes but he hadn't dried off yet."

"Yeah?"

"What if it's already been _done_?" Casey asked.

Kelly stared at him for a minute and didn't say anything. Finally he told his friend, "Dirty cop or not...if it was my kid...I'd do the same."

"Me too," Casey said. "This time, whatever Voight did, or is going to do...he's justified."

"For once," Kelly said.

They looked at each other in an eerie silence for a minute.

"You sure you don't want me to stay?" Kelly asked.

"Do you mind?"

Kelly chuckled as Casey scooted over to one side and he got in beside him, "Comfortable?"

"No, but I'll take it," Casey said.

Kelly grabbed the blanket and straightened it out over both of them.

Casey stared up at the ceiling as he said, "I hope he gets away with it."

Kelly was quiet for a few seconds, then responded, "Me too."


End file.
